Role Modelling

For the most part, this blog has covered issues that apply to both parents of new babies and while I write from a male perspective, the thoughts and ideas could apply to anyone. However, this post aims to be a break from the norm as a couple of things have happened recently to make me think about my role as a father and how others view this role.

I spend most of my working life being a positive male role model, both for the children and school staff. It's not something that I think about a lot or try to make a particular effort for, but it's an important part of my work that I can and will continue to offer in the classroom.

As a father, however, I think about what I'm doing and saying most of the time. For example I try to spend as much time as possible when we're out and about with Jake in front of me, either in my arms or in the pram. My work colleagues will say that this is in part because I like to be in charge. It's also partly due to the fact that Kelsey spends all day at home with him so I like to give her break, and also I miss him so it's a good chance to catch up. However, for the most part it's to try and change some of the common stereotypes of fathers. A couple of things brought home the importance of this role modelling recently:

- We went for breakfast this morning (one of my favourite things to do out here) and we were talking to the ladies at the next table who were naturally admiring Jake. He started fussing to be changed and as I'd finished my food I took him. They were very impressed that I'd done that and whilst there was nothing malicious in their comments, I knew that they wouldn't have batted an eyelid if Kelsey had taken him.
- A new TV series is starting in the US in September about three dads and their babies. The trailers appear full of stereotypes about men not knowing how to take care of their babies effectively and whilst I'm hoping that the writers are sensitive to the guys and give them space to grow and learn, the fact that this is set up as a comedy irks me.

To be clear, I don't want to make myself a martyr to fatherhood, and i certainly won't take over from Kelsey as it's an equal partnership throughout (as far as possible). However, I will continue to take care of my son in public and to play with him and talk to him as I see fit wherever I am. I won't shove my ideas down others throats but I hope to make some changes to people's perceptions of fatherhood through my words and actions towards Kelsey and Jake.