Perspectives

This post is motivated by the sad and untimely passing of the father of one of our close friends. She sent out one of the most beautifully written emails I've ever read which acted as a way of breaking the news and as a way of paying tribute to her dad. She talked about her memories and what she had learned from him over the years and it was clear to see the closeness of their bond over the years. Having met the man myself on numerous occasions, you could see the high esteem in which he held my friend and how much he meant to her.

Talking to her after the event made me realise just how much of an impact our fathers have on us and how much of an impact I will have on Jake over the course of his life. It puts my relationship with my own father into perceptive and it pleases me that we're in regular contact and able to spend quality time together. It's interesting that over the last couple of years our relationship has changed slightly from father and son to adult to adult, able to talk properly about his life as well as mine. When we told him that we were pregnant, we spent a long time talking about his parenting style and I can begin to see my childhood from his perspective. A lot of things that I took for granted such as spending quality time with just my dad or cooking for the whole family take on a whole new look when you realise that they were planned events organised by my parents. It also gave me a lot of good ideas that I want to put into place with Jake and his siblings as he grows up. One thing that is for sure is that I am beginning to fully appreciate the hard work that my dad, and my mum, put in to giving me the opportunity to be the man and father that I am today.

The passing of my friend's dad motivates me to maintain a positive relationship with him and to teach him as much as I can about my approach to the world in the hopes that he'll see me as a role model for how to live his life. I just hope that when my time comes that Jake feels moved to write an equally impressive tribute as my friend wrote for her father.