Jake at 4

Dear Jake,

It feels strange to say that I have a 4 year old at home, and your mum/mom and I were talking last night about what we ever did before you. We certainly slept more (though that's more to do with Sophie!) but we're not sure what the pictures were of on our cameras and who we spent most of our time talking about. You are quickly growing up into a delightful boy, one who is kind and caring, who follows the instructions, one who has a great sense of humour and one who we love to bits on a daily basis.

It's been a big year for you (and for all of us) in many different ways. I'm typing this with a cup of coffee at Nana and Papa's house where we moved to 6 weeks ago, listening to your baby sister snuffle in her sleep (as I'm sure you are too). The way that you've accepted and enjoyed these changes has been incredible.

I think you were born to be in America in many ways. You love playing outside, especially on the massive dirt piles that currently litter Nana and Papa's garden. I hope you don't get too disappointed when they get used up on various projects, but the number of those that are planned with you and the other grandchildren in mind will more than make up for it. You love the space of the house and it's fun watching you work out the routines and patterns, as well as where everything goes. Whilst you won't naturally tidy up by yourself, you take a delight in putting things away in their right places.

Your sense of direction continues to amaze us. You learned all the shortcuts on our routes home in Leeds and would routinely scold me for not going mummy's way, which you were convinced was quicker (as was she...). This has continued over here and you're beginning to tell me which roads go where, which boggles my mind as I'm still not sure how much you can see from the back seat. You also love to spot "papa trucks" (pick up trucks) and spent a fantastic afternoon driving around with me saying "yes" and "no" to the driveways, depending on whether they had a papa truck or not. You came up with this game all by yourself (with Hobbes, of course!), which is something you're getting very good at. Your mum and I could sit and watch you play for hours.

The other big change, of course, is your sister. At times delightful, at times annoying, you've taken her arrival in your stride. I think up till a couple of weeks ago you saw her as an intrigue, someone who took attention from you, but was cute about it, someone who sometimes woke you up in the night by crying, but smiles at you constantly. This is until she started to crawl. Her love affair with you (and your toys) is made much easier by the fact that she can now scoot across the mat and get up in your business, which can be annoying. You're getting used to fobbing her off with toys, or getting me or mummy to help distract her. Maybe we'll convince you that playing on a table is a better idea, but it's much more fun to play on the floor.

Finally, we love talking with you. Your vocabulary has grown massively this year, and you're able to discuss so many things with us, from your feelings about Hayden dying, to feeling shy about new adults, to preparing you for small-but-big changes like putting your dody in the mail. This last one is a big step, and one that we earmarked for your 4th birthday. When we tried getting you to give it up before, it didn't really work, but now that you can talk and think about things, you went to sleep without it tonight without a fuss. We love your dedication to logic, especially trying to work out who has driven where in which car, and catching mummy out in a lie when we both stayed home to sort out the house. You're a clever kid.

What a big year Jakey Bear. This next one will see you start daycare, get some American friends, explore more and move into our first house, and as always we can't wait to see what happens next with you.

Love you

Daddy