Priorities

An interesting conversation happened last weekend with one of my friends who amongst several drinks made the announcement that they were thinking of having children in the near future. I had to contain my excitement as I don't want to be one of those parents who thinks that everyone else should procreate just because I have. However, it's always going to be exciting when people I know decide to become parents and I'll have to rein in my instincts to hand out advice left, right and centre (more on that in another post).

The most interesting part of the conversation was about priorities and how they change when you have children. It's not a lie when they say that having a child changes your life forever, not only in the day to day stuff of when you get up, what you do, where you go and who you see, but also in the way that Jake influences all of these choices. In that sense, my priorities have definitely changed as I want to make sure that we're giving Jake the best start in life, so I'll make sure that our spare time is structured around giving him new experiences, plenty of play time and surround him with people who will show him unconditional love and positive regard.

I would also say that my priorities have changed in a bigger way. I have travelled a fair bit and seen lots of the world, and I still feel the wanderlust whenever I look at maps or book a flight. Another friend is on the verge of jetting off on a long term travel across the world having recently been on a long trip through Europe. His first trip was in the PBE and I distinctly remember reading his emails and looking at his photos with a big sense of envy, jealousy and regret that I wasn't out there travelling. Now he's off on a bigger and longer journey and I find myself excited for him and looking forward to his news, but not jealous or upset that he's going and I'm not. I put this down to Jake and that I find a different sense of awe, wonder and pleasure from being his father, playing with him, teaching him, watching him develop his own personality that matches or even overcomes my desire to see the world and explore new places. I also know that the world will still be there when Jake is old enough to experience it with me, and I yearn to be one of those families who treks across Vietnam or goes on safari in Africa when their kids are old enough to appreciate it.

Having said all of this, I think that my overall priorities are similar, just with a different emphasis and a different way of getting there. I still burn to make a difference to the world around me, and I can now do this through Jake as well as my work and my actions. I still like to see my friends, play board games, go running and write, all of which are possible with Jake and those that aren't so compatible I can negotiate time with my wife to make sure those priorities still happen. I still love to spend time with my wife and this is simply augmented by a bouncing, chattering, happy little man running around between us.