Jake turned six months on Thursday last week, but I wasn't there to see it. My wife's grandmother had been taken very ill, so we had decided to fly her home for a week or so to see her and to provide some moral support to her family. In the PBE, I would have looked forward to a few days by myself as an opportunity to relax, see some friends and potter around the house. Whilst I did do these things this time round, it was amazing the difference that Jake has come to make to my lifestyle and just how much I missed whilst he was gone.
The one time when I missed him less was at night, and the first few days that they were gone, I slept a lot, simply because I could. However, after two or three days, I started waking in the middle night with my subconscious panicking that I couldn't hear Jake. Now that they're back, I'm sure I'll be cursing when he wakes up in the night, but part of me has missed that quiet time when the world is still and it's just me and Jake (and some milk).
I also didn't realise just how quiet the house would be. I wouldn't say that my wife and I are noisy people, but when Jake's around, we're constantly talking to him and he's normally chattering back so the house feels full of noise. When it was just me alone, I had to have the radio on or leave the house to see people to stop the silence. The house, as well as my life in general, felt very empty, and it's only now that they're home that I realise how complete everything feels, as much as I hate the word complete.
I think it also helps that Jake has come back even more smiley and even more chattery than before, and seeing his beam when he stepped back into the house into familiar territory warmed my heart no end. Being a father has created and awoken feelings in me that I didn't know that I had, and that I didn't know that were possible, but now that they're hear, I miss them when Jake's not around. How I'll go back to work on Monday now, I'm not sure!
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Friday, 2 November 2012
Occupying Jake
After the initial rush of excitement when my wife told me that she was pregnant, there was a little voice of fear in my head. This voice asked what on earth you do with a baby beyond feeding it and keeping it clean. As I work in primary schools, I know how to entertain children as young as four, but below that I was very unsure.
It's a question that I'm still grappling with today, almost six months into this adventure. It can be daunting when Jake wakes up at half 6 and you know that he won't be ready for a nap for the next two hours or so and you know that he's likely to scream if he gets bored. You can eat up a certain amount of time by feeding him and changing him, and this often turns into a little conversation as he quite likes being on his back on the changing table with his feet to play with and an adult to smile at.
Beyond that, I've found little routines help to keep him occupied. We'll sing songs for a bit until he gets bored and then try reading some books. We then normally go downstairs where I put him in a chair and potter in the kitchen. He likes to play with different toys there as well as watching me, the cats and the washing machine intently.
The other thing for Jake is that taking him outside will always keep him happy. I decided to test this today by taking him by bus into town and exploring the city museum. He was as quiet as a mouse for the whole trip and started babbling halfway round the museum quite contentedly. It was an outrageous success and kept us out of the house for four hours and one that we'll be doing again.
I guess a certain part of it is that you find something that works and do that until he's bored and ready to move on. He's very good at telling you when he wants to do something else and as he grows up he'll start being able to do more and maintain concentration for longer. For now though the little voice is being kept quiet as I build my repertoire.
It's a question that I'm still grappling with today, almost six months into this adventure. It can be daunting when Jake wakes up at half 6 and you know that he won't be ready for a nap for the next two hours or so and you know that he's likely to scream if he gets bored. You can eat up a certain amount of time by feeding him and changing him, and this often turns into a little conversation as he quite likes being on his back on the changing table with his feet to play with and an adult to smile at.
Beyond that, I've found little routines help to keep him occupied. We'll sing songs for a bit until he gets bored and then try reading some books. We then normally go downstairs where I put him in a chair and potter in the kitchen. He likes to play with different toys there as well as watching me, the cats and the washing machine intently.
The other thing for Jake is that taking him outside will always keep him happy. I decided to test this today by taking him by bus into town and exploring the city museum. He was as quiet as a mouse for the whole trip and started babbling halfway round the museum quite contentedly. It was an outrageous success and kept us out of the house for four hours and one that we'll be doing again.
I guess a certain part of it is that you find something that works and do that until he's bored and ready to move on. He's very good at telling you when he wants to do something else and as he grows up he'll start being able to do more and maintain concentration for longer. For now though the little voice is being kept quiet as I build my repertoire.
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