Dear Lopins, Sofa, Sweet Pea,
I've been talking with you about these letters this week (now you know that they exist, but not where you'd find them) and you're interested in this idea of how I see your life versus your lived experience of it. We talked about when I'd give you these letters, and I had thought about at 18, but after chatting with you, I think I'd like to continue writing them each year till I can't and you get a series of love letters from your dad charting the ups and downs of your life, which I think would be pretty cool.
This has been a big year for you in many ways. While you still use goofy voices and mess around with your friends (Tessa, Harlynn, Anne, Martin and Nacora are the current faves!), you've really started to work out who you are and how you want to be. You've decided that you want to be a therapist when you grow up (though Momma and I feel that you might end up as a teacher/educator too) which plays into your caring and sensitive side. No matter who it is, you know how to make people feel better about themselves, and you love nothing more than snuggling up with Momma (a coodel!) or wrestling with me (you know it's a problem when the glasses come off!). You absolutely adore the Crazies when they come to visit, and you're excellent at getting down to their level and making games happen. You came home recently wanting to go through your clothes, toys and stuffies to give them to the little ones, and this is the perfect Sophie mix of kindness and growing up on purpose.
You're also working out how to look after yourself. Your piano in your room has become a tool for self soothing, especially now that you can play quite complex pieces from memory (He's A Pirate is a current classic!) and you'll go do that when you get frustrated with Jake or overwhelmed by noise or chaos. You've also got into spa nights with Momma and discovered the joy of a good pedicure and nail painting. You've taken to wanting to wear jewelry, which saw you start your own earring collection in Leeds last year, a jewelry box for all your pieces for Christmas, and a beautiful necklace from Papa with a treble clef on it to connect you to Nana.
That's been the hardest part of the last year for you and indeed for all of us. Nana passed away in November, and we all still tear up and get sad when things remind us of her. Telling you and Jake about her sickness after keeping it from you while we could was honestly the worst thing that has happened to me as a parent; sharing the understanding that the world can be a shockingly harsh and awful place, and sometimes bad things happen to good people for no reason at all. We feel fortunate that you've got memories of Nana out in the garden or welcoming you to her home with snacks and fruit at any time of day, and just know that we'll still miss her when you finally read this and it's ok to be sad with us.
One way of keeping Nana's memory alive for me is to tell about all the cool things you get up to as she always reveled in your busy life. Piano continues to be a strength and a source of joy for you. I also think that having Miss Mary as your teacher as well as Nana's keeps it a strong connection, but you're also getting to the level of proficiency where you can play more complex pieces and begin to truly enjoy the music you can create. You've also picked up the clarinet this year at school and you reveled in knowing how to read music and keep time well ahead of everybody else. You're now talking about picking up the Polish woodwind instrument (English horn!) but we think two instruments is enough for now.
You've also decided that girls only sports are the way to go. After the success of Girls on the Run last year, you decided to try RYSA girls for soccer in the fall, and fell in love with girls soccer. We kept the group together through the winter at the indoor dome, picking up our first draws, and then came out firing in the spring with a few wins even through the crazy rain each weekend. You're willing to play anywhere, but I love seeing you on defense, using your strength to win the ball and then dribble it up. You're building good friends on the team, and got asked to play for the u11 team at a recent tournament. I think you'll play again in the fall, and I can't wait to be your coach to watch you grow and develop more.
In amongst these main passions, you've tried a bit of everything. Volleyball caught your eye (though that may have to do with Harlynn and other friends playing!) and you tried rugby, but it's a mixed gender sport which has turned you off it, and it's all about individual speed and strength which don't really appeal to you. You enjoyed basketball to the point that you've got a summer camp booked for it, and I think you'll come back to it in the fall - hopefully with Maya's mom as your coach as you'll be in the age range.
This love of being busy certainly comes from me (though you also like quiet time with a book or watching TV with Jake), and it's all part of the bigger exploration of who you are and what you like. You come home telling me tidbits from school, and your teacher raves about how kind and thoughtful you are, and also how you're in the back row of math kids who like to challenge themselves. You've got a good grounding that it's ok to be smart and organized (getting your Lexia and homework done on Tuesdays because it was your only free night!), but you can also be silly (we watched The Holy Grail recently and you keep quoting it back and forth with me much to my delight!), and funny and sweet and all the things me and Momma would hope for you to be. This year will be another year of growth and I can't wait to see what sticks and what changes when I write again next June.
All my love
Dad/Dadda/Haroldson
