Dear Jake-a/Jakey/Iacoppo,
It seems strange to think of you as a teenager, as you definitely buck the trend of the stereotypical self-isolating grumpy kid. Of course there's still time for this, and looking at you physically, I'm pretty sure puberty has yet to kick in for you (even though you are taller than Molly and Allie, and Momma can't see over your head!). As my brain has started on your appearance, you're still concerned with your external looks, from making sure that your clothes are cool name brands to making sure you have the same haircut as just about every other kid your age. You fractured your wrist recently flipping the go kart on a wet day at Papa's house, and your two main concerns were how your friends were going to perceive you and whether you'd be allowed to play soccer again.
On the soccer front, you've faced some challenges this last year. The fall season saw you step up to an 11 v 11 system, and your coach Lucas tried to turn you into a CDM. This was a change of speed for you, and we even tried some 1:1 coaching sessions to build your skills and confidence. However, the Revs were focused on results which meant you didn't get much playing time, and while you still enjoyed soccer, you felt like the Revs weren't the right home for you. You played some futsal indoors and found some success there, but we completely failed to find a good spring option for you. We've ended up at Northwood again just playing their in-house rec league. While it's not super challenging for you, it's fun and we think it's going to make you want to play soccer again. We're staying home this summer and you've got summer camps and skill sessions with Samba with the goal of playing for the school in the fall, so I feel soccer will continue to be a large part of your life.
Ok. I sat for 5 minutes working out to approach this part of the last year without crying, and I'm still not sure I'll be able to do it in one shot. The reason we're not going back to England this summer is that Nana passed away last November, and we're staying close to home to look after Papa, help with the celebration of life and continue to grieve together. Her death was expected (for us) but she went from being on vacation to Papa and out for breakfast to dying in a week which felt awful for you. You knew she was sick and I think you must have seen her physical deterioration, but it still the most awful parenting experience I've ever had to tell you and Sophie the whole truth about what was going on. For your whole life, we've (both consciously and subconsciously) tried to protect you from how awful and terrible the world can be, but this was your first exposure to true helplessness in the face of random chance. I feel fortunate in some respects that as the oldest grandchild you will have concrete memories of her ("ola" from the porch every time we visited) but those same memories mean that you still find Momma (and sometimes me) on a weekly basis to talk about her and how much you miss her. Your Lego obsession has been somewhat swallowed by Minecraft, and I watched you make a memorial to her on there the other day. Who know what age you'll be when you read these letters, but you need to know that your mom and I miss her too on a daily basis, and we're just thankful you're emotionally intelligent and open enough to share your thoughts and feelings with us.
This last year has seen you do the typical middle school student thing of testing boundaries and exploring your relationships. You've had a couple of run ins with the math teacher at school (and found that your mom and I will ALWAYS back the teacher if they say you've been messing around) and we had to put in place your first real consequence of no technology as a way of making our point about making better choices. You accepted this and school reports that you've worked hard to keep yourself out of trouble, even though your goofy friends sometimes try to drag you into things. You got accused of bullying earlier this year (it was weird being on the other side of that conversation!) but it wasn't founded, and I think you learned some lessons about how to handle yourself with students who aren't your best buds. Next year represents your last at Strafford School, so I'm hoping that you make the step up that all my 8th graders seem to do to finish your time with positive memories and finding ways to maintain the strong group of friends who continue to support and encourage you.
Finally, you're still a home body, and even given the option of arranging play dates, you'd much rather hang out at the house. This means that you continue to want to spend time with your sister, your mother and me (we're still reading the 39 clues series, and you actively request a couple of chapters every night!) and I'll take that as long as I can. The nature of the time we spend together changes, though you and Sophie and I still found a new board game to obsess over in April vacation, and I've just introduced you to Age of Empires (waiting for your brain to click in and start thrashing me!). You're still a thoughtful kid who finds enjoyment in the every day, and you've taken to asking me about my day and asking follow up questions. While you were disappointed that the day of your birthday didn't feel special (it was a rainy Thursday at school!), we talked about it some more and you recognized that there's an awful lot of days that count as "fun" or "good" in your books, ranging from going to see Liverpool at Anfield to a day of board games and soccer in the garden. As the hormones kick in, I hope that this bedrock of optimism and positivity steers you through, and that you continue to come and find me for a game or a chat or a chapter in the coming months and years.
Love you
Little B/Haroldson/Dada/Plebster
