Dear Jake/Jakey/The Bear/Bjorn/Menace,
Time seems to fly by faster and faster as you get older. I can still remember the creeping sluggishness of the days of your first week and wondering how you'd ever be a month old and suddenly you're turning 3 today.
I wonder if time passes so quickly because you're a fun kid to be around at this age and I spend most of my time with you fully engrossed in whatever bit of "playing time" we're up to. Weekends just seem to zip by in a flurry of park visits, reading books, rough and tumble and playing with your cars and bricks on our living room floor. Now that you're starting to speak more and more and string longer sentences together (Daddy no hat, Mummy and Jakey hat), these activities become so much more interesting as you invite me into your world and we can start have imaginary conversations. Even Hobbes has joined in on the action with his own distinctive voice, though I sometimes wonder if you use that dog as a testing ground for behaviours and words that you've found out about at nursery to see what our reaction will be...
You've also got the idea of sharing, whether it's in the cute way of bringing everyone a bar to eat when you're hungry, or stealing my couch or my apple under the name of "Daddy share". In either case, you're growing up to care for others and my heart filled when we went to see Granny earlier this year. She was crying because Baba had died and you told me "Granny sad" and went to give her a cuddle because you know that's what you do. There is nothing better in this life than a Jakey cuddle, especially now that you can put your whole body into it, and the number of bad days at work that you've saved by laying your head on my shoulder and having a squeeze are too many to count.
This year's going to be a big one for you. By the time that your next birthday comes around, you'll have a baby sister and a new house to live in. Both of these are exciting things, but will change how we are as a family. You seem to be happy with the idea of having a baby sister now (before, you just wanted a tiger!) so I hope that you love her as much as we will. It may seem at times that she gets more attention than you, and whilst Mummy and I will make sure that you get our attention too, I want to say here that our love for you will never waver and I still wake up each morning thankful that I get the honour and pleasure of being your dad.
Thursday, 21 May 2015
Sunday, 10 May 2015
Choices, choices
As Jake becomes more and more verbal, both in terms of speech production and his understanding (there is no greater feeling for me when I feel like I'm having a proper conversation with him!), I can see his personality growing and developing in front of our very eyes. Fortunately, this is a child who is filled with fun, a cheeky sense of humour and an already keen sense of fairness and sharing.
The teacher in me, however, sees this ability to interact through words as an opportunity to lay down some rules and boundaries, even at this early age. We're a few weeks away from Jake turning 3 and so far (knock on wood!) haven't seen much of the "terrible twos". Of course, Jake has shown that he is often late to developmental milestones, so it may all be ahead of us. However, I like to think that our choice led approach to situations of potential conflict have reduced stress. For example, in the morning, he gets to pick out which t-shirt he's going to wear that day, or a choice about which coat he's going to wear. By introducing the choice about the coat, there's no negotiation about whether he's going to wear it or not. Bath time is a great example. He's never keen on the thought of having a bath (even though he loves it when he's in), so our nightly conversation goes like this:
Me: Jake, it's bath time
Jake: No bath time, it's playing time
Me: Do you want a bath or a shower?
Jake: Bath please Daddy
And up we go. If he's feeling belligerent, I threaten him with a shower and he'll then choose a bath to avoid the horror of a shower. But it's still a choice, and one that he feels in control of.
This approach means that there's very few times that we have to put our foot down with him, and even those situations can be turned into choices, such as who's car we're going to take or which soft toy he gets to bring food shopping. It works well for us, and it helps Jake to feel in control of the world around him through choices that we're happy with him making. Long may it continue.
The teacher in me, however, sees this ability to interact through words as an opportunity to lay down some rules and boundaries, even at this early age. We're a few weeks away from Jake turning 3 and so far (knock on wood!) haven't seen much of the "terrible twos". Of course, Jake has shown that he is often late to developmental milestones, so it may all be ahead of us. However, I like to think that our choice led approach to situations of potential conflict have reduced stress. For example, in the morning, he gets to pick out which t-shirt he's going to wear that day, or a choice about which coat he's going to wear. By introducing the choice about the coat, there's no negotiation about whether he's going to wear it or not. Bath time is a great example. He's never keen on the thought of having a bath (even though he loves it when he's in), so our nightly conversation goes like this:
Me: Jake, it's bath time
Jake: No bath time, it's playing time
Me: Do you want a bath or a shower?
Jake: Bath please Daddy
And up we go. If he's feeling belligerent, I threaten him with a shower and he'll then choose a bath to avoid the horror of a shower. But it's still a choice, and one that he feels in control of.
This approach means that there's very few times that we have to put our foot down with him, and even those situations can be turned into choices, such as who's car we're going to take or which soft toy he gets to bring food shopping. It works well for us, and it helps Jake to feel in control of the world around him through choices that we're happy with him making. Long may it continue.
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