My wife discovered another baby blog where the author had written a letter to their child on their birthday each year and included some money towards their college fund. Whilst I won't be including any money with this post, I was delighted to find that I had written Jake a letter this time last year, so will be able to continue the tradition. As always, I'm a few days late, but here it is:
Dear Jake/Bear/Bjorn,
You've just turned 2 and I can't believe how quickly the last year has gone. I remember when you were first born and we were measuring your life in days. Our minds boggled when you turned one full month, but these last 12 months seemed to have whizzed past. However, with the time to take stock and reflect, so much has changed that I'm still surprised that you're still the same person who was bum shuffling around on Matt and Vix's garden last year.
Firstly, you can walk, and run, and jump (well sort of, we'll dig out the video of you doing a "star jump" with Aliya at Auntie Caz's wedding) which has changed everything. You walk everywhere (apart from when you demand to be carried) and you still crack us up when you bring our shoes then your shoes and stand pointing at the front door, ready for a walk. This walking leads you all sorts of places and means that play parks are so much more fun. It also means you've started carrying stuff around, especially rocks and sand, which to me marks your transition from a baby into the wonderful little boy you're turning into.
You're also starting to talk, and whilst you've only got 20 or so words at the moment, you make each of them count and it's always clear exactly what you want to happen (whether we agree with you or not is another issue!). It won't be long before you start chattering in full sentences, but for now, we love your ability to manipulate your world with pointing, tugging and babbling.
I think my favourite thing about this last year is seeing your personality develop. You've always had a great sense of humour, but you've now found ways to make yourself laugh and every day you find new ways to find yourself funny (like putting bowls on top of your head to use as a helmet). The word "Chuggington" sends you into paroxysms of giggles and bursts of excitement and you get endlessly frustrated when we have to shut it down or when it doesn't load quick enough.
I want to finish with a description of Sunday, which I think demonstrates a perfect example of who you are at age 2. You woke up chatting to yourself and Hobbes (oh Hobbes, I hope one day you'll love me and your mum as much as you love Hobbes) so we got you up and fed you some milk and cereal. You then came into the living room and played with your toys, mainly cars and trains but a few Duplo bricks thrown in good for measure. You like to line them up and then move the cars around, making brum brum noises to yourself.
Given that you'd decided to stop napping in the day time, Uncle Jim, Papa and I took you out, over a very steep hill (good thing Mum wasn't with us!) for a steam train journey. Fortunately, the steam train was about the right size for you, rather than us, so you absolutely loved it. I've never seen anyone so excited to be on a train and you wore the biggest smile on your face for the whole ride there.
We got to Ravenglass and went to the beach where you happily wandered around, finding rocks and sticks and filled your pockets with pebbles. You looked like such a little boy (rather than a toddler) and we could have stayed there all day.
Sadly we had to catch the train home, and you decided you wanted to sit inside the carriage again. You quite happily shut the door on us, waved us away with a big smile on your face and when I came back a minute later to get you, you were cuddling and chatting to Hobbes. When we finally got all in the same carriage, you spent the first part of the ride home looking out of the window and taking your shoes off (you do this a lot!).
You started to get tired, so you came for a cuddle and I could feel your whole body relax into mine. With the sun streaming into the carriage and beautiful scenery rolling by, I think I could have stayed like that forever. I know that you'll come to us less and less for cuddles and comfort over the years, but it really brought home just how much I love being your father and being there for you when you need me. As you will do in the rest of your life, you got back up and got on with things.
So there you are: a happy, chatty, confident little boy who is able to make friends and win the hearts of all your aunts and uncles (capitalised and not). Your third year will bring even more changes that we can't even imagine, but I know that you will continue to inspire the same love, devotion and pride that fills my every waking moment with you.
Dad.
Tuesday, 27 May 2014
Saturday, 17 May 2014
Two for the price of one
This one has been rumbling around since, well probably since I started to write this whole blog, but I feel it's the right time to start this train of thought now with some of the recent events happening. We've always talked about wanting multiple children which in itself is a strange thought to have. Logically, having one child should be enough as you can pour all of your love, time and money at giving them the best possible start in life, but for some reason it doesn't seem enough. I guess part of it is that we both are one of three children and have good, healthy and strong relationships with our sisters (no natural uncles for Jake! No English uncles for Jake either for that matter!) and I think we both want Jake to have that experience. However, we've always talked about having just two and the more entrenched our plans become, the more unlikely we are to deviate from those plans.
I mentioned the recent events that prompted this post, so I'll try and enumerate some of them. The first is that Jake is growing (no surprise there) and growing to such an extent that he's not far off filling his whole cot. I remember when we first put him in there and he looked so tiny; amazing how times change. We've put a lot of thought into his next bed which in turn has got us talking a lot about our plans for the second baby as there will be (according to the current version of The Plan) a few months when Baby 2 is old enough for the cot and we're still in our 2 bedroom house in England. The nursery isn't a huge space, but will sleep the two of them with all their clothes and some books for bedtime quite comfortably as long as we're clever with storage and furniture. To this end, we bought Jake's first toddler bed last weekend and the mattress looks enormous! I'm sure at some point he'll grow out of it as he has with the cot, but it's another sign of our little boy growing up. We probably won't move him out of the cot till we're back from the States in August, but that change will be a big one when it comes.
Another recent event is the fact that quite a few people that we know are planning on getting pregnant in the near future, which again has got us talking and structuring The Plan. We've always talked about having the second baby over here to make use of the free health care and amazing maternity leave, but the draw to the US becomes stronger each time we visit. However, we've made the firm commitment to ourselves that whilst our hearts say go, our heads know we should stay and see The Plan out till the summer of 2016. Interestingly, in all its versions, we've never got this close to the conclusion of The Plan, having always changed and extended it in previous years. I think the fact that we carried out the Jake project successfully and on time has given us the impetus and the belief to stick to The Plan with the knowledge that it'll happen.
Finally, our worries about how Jake will cope with a younger sibling are lessening. There's a brand new baby at his nursery who is often there when I drop him off and he goes over and smiles, cooing "baby" at it and giggling. He's also taken to taking a soft toy (most often Hobbes but sometimes other bears too) around and looking after them as we do to him. This often cracks me up as he pretends to put a pacifier in their mouths or feed them some food, but the best so far has been when I'm pretty sure he put Hobbes in time out, then picked him up and cuddled him to say sorry. Needless to say, Hobbes didn't do it again.
It's interesting seeing our conversations returning to familiar patterns, ones that we had in the build up to having Jake. We've talked endlessly about the finances and the space (both a little tighter than last time around), discussed possible names till we've exhausted just about all combinations (we're all set for a girl and are narrowing down our boy options) and tried to imagine the future with two of them. I was famously quoted in the immediate aftermath of Jake's birth as saying "there's only one of him and two of us; how hard can it be?" (the short answer is: very!) but I don't think I'll be making a similar comment when Baby 2 rocks up. However, if our experience with Jake is anything to by, it'll be exciting, exhausting and a whole new set of experiences for all three of us.
I mentioned the recent events that prompted this post, so I'll try and enumerate some of them. The first is that Jake is growing (no surprise there) and growing to such an extent that he's not far off filling his whole cot. I remember when we first put him in there and he looked so tiny; amazing how times change. We've put a lot of thought into his next bed which in turn has got us talking a lot about our plans for the second baby as there will be (according to the current version of The Plan) a few months when Baby 2 is old enough for the cot and we're still in our 2 bedroom house in England. The nursery isn't a huge space, but will sleep the two of them with all their clothes and some books for bedtime quite comfortably as long as we're clever with storage and furniture. To this end, we bought Jake's first toddler bed last weekend and the mattress looks enormous! I'm sure at some point he'll grow out of it as he has with the cot, but it's another sign of our little boy growing up. We probably won't move him out of the cot till we're back from the States in August, but that change will be a big one when it comes.
Another recent event is the fact that quite a few people that we know are planning on getting pregnant in the near future, which again has got us talking and structuring The Plan. We've always talked about having the second baby over here to make use of the free health care and amazing maternity leave, but the draw to the US becomes stronger each time we visit. However, we've made the firm commitment to ourselves that whilst our hearts say go, our heads know we should stay and see The Plan out till the summer of 2016. Interestingly, in all its versions, we've never got this close to the conclusion of The Plan, having always changed and extended it in previous years. I think the fact that we carried out the Jake project successfully and on time has given us the impetus and the belief to stick to The Plan with the knowledge that it'll happen.
Finally, our worries about how Jake will cope with a younger sibling are lessening. There's a brand new baby at his nursery who is often there when I drop him off and he goes over and smiles, cooing "baby" at it and giggling. He's also taken to taking a soft toy (most often Hobbes but sometimes other bears too) around and looking after them as we do to him. This often cracks me up as he pretends to put a pacifier in their mouths or feed them some food, but the best so far has been when I'm pretty sure he put Hobbes in time out, then picked him up and cuddled him to say sorry. Needless to say, Hobbes didn't do it again.
It's interesting seeing our conversations returning to familiar patterns, ones that we had in the build up to having Jake. We've talked endlessly about the finances and the space (both a little tighter than last time around), discussed possible names till we've exhausted just about all combinations (we're all set for a girl and are narrowing down our boy options) and tried to imagine the future with two of them. I was famously quoted in the immediate aftermath of Jake's birth as saying "there's only one of him and two of us; how hard can it be?" (the short answer is: very!) but I don't think I'll be making a similar comment when Baby 2 rocks up. However, if our experience with Jake is anything to by, it'll be exciting, exhausting and a whole new set of experiences for all three of us.
Sunday, 11 May 2014
Clear Intentions
Watching a child learn language is fascinating at the best of times, whether it's someone in my class at school learning the difference between 'desert' and 'dessert' or seeing how Jake learns to use sounds to manipulate the world around him. It makes you stop and think about how amazing the human brain is when it comes to communicating. Jake learns so much by copying our actions, but there's no way for me to teach him how to use his vocal chords or how to differentiate between the thousands of words he hears to learn names and instructions for the things that surround him.
Jake's coming up on two and a lot of babies that we know who are a similar age to him are going through the massive language spurt that happens around this sort of age. Jake isn't, but is very clear about his intentions, desires and interests even with a very limited vocabulary. Discernable words at this moment include "up", "mummy", "daddy" (though these two are used indiscriminately between us), "please", "more" and "Hobbee" (his favourite stuffed toy, more of which in another post). He can also manage "yes" and "no" and with these words to hand, he uses a variety of gestures, pointing and trouser pulling to let you know what he wants to happen. I find it incredible, and very charming, when he goes to get my shoes, points to his coat and the door, meaning that we're set for an outdoor adventure, and I find it hard to resist these requests.
There are two moments that inspired this post. The first happened last weekend at my parents' house. It was coming up to nap time and he was getting grouchy and started to cry. As I picked him up and took his shoes off ready for a snooze, he started to howl but managed to get the word "gogurt" out before I left the room. I stopped and looked at him. He looked back at me and as I sat him down with a yoghurt, the crying stopped and he pretty much inhaled the whole thing. I think I was as happy that he finally decided to eat as I was happy to positively reward the use of language to name his needs.
The second happened today as we walked outside with no particular agenda in mind on one of Jake's "let's go outside, Daddy" trips. We wandered past my car and he ran up to it and pointed to his door (where his car seat is). I told him it was locked, so he glared at me and made a gesture with his hand that could only be the action that I use to press the button to unlock the car. I almost wet myself laughing and unlocked the car for him, which in turn got him giggling. His intentions could not have been any clearer as to what he wanted me to do.
As Jake gets older, I think my wife and I worry less about him reaching his developmental milestones on time. So far, he's yet to miss one, and seems to wait until the last possible moment (i.e. the day before we call the doctors to see if there's anything wrong with him) to stress us out. I think it's more that he opts for the easy option and will only make the next step when it's too frustrating to stay with the status quo. That's how it was for him walking and learning to eat, and I'm sure that's how it will be with his speech, toilet training and future milestones. Whilst he's happy, friendly and curious about the world, I couldn't care less.
Jake's coming up on two and a lot of babies that we know who are a similar age to him are going through the massive language spurt that happens around this sort of age. Jake isn't, but is very clear about his intentions, desires and interests even with a very limited vocabulary. Discernable words at this moment include "up", "mummy", "daddy" (though these two are used indiscriminately between us), "please", "more" and "Hobbee" (his favourite stuffed toy, more of which in another post). He can also manage "yes" and "no" and with these words to hand, he uses a variety of gestures, pointing and trouser pulling to let you know what he wants to happen. I find it incredible, and very charming, when he goes to get my shoes, points to his coat and the door, meaning that we're set for an outdoor adventure, and I find it hard to resist these requests.
There are two moments that inspired this post. The first happened last weekend at my parents' house. It was coming up to nap time and he was getting grouchy and started to cry. As I picked him up and took his shoes off ready for a snooze, he started to howl but managed to get the word "gogurt" out before I left the room. I stopped and looked at him. He looked back at me and as I sat him down with a yoghurt, the crying stopped and he pretty much inhaled the whole thing. I think I was as happy that he finally decided to eat as I was happy to positively reward the use of language to name his needs.
The second happened today as we walked outside with no particular agenda in mind on one of Jake's "let's go outside, Daddy" trips. We wandered past my car and he ran up to it and pointed to his door (where his car seat is). I told him it was locked, so he glared at me and made a gesture with his hand that could only be the action that I use to press the button to unlock the car. I almost wet myself laughing and unlocked the car for him, which in turn got him giggling. His intentions could not have been any clearer as to what he wanted me to do.
As Jake gets older, I think my wife and I worry less about him reaching his developmental milestones on time. So far, he's yet to miss one, and seems to wait until the last possible moment (i.e. the day before we call the doctors to see if there's anything wrong with him) to stress us out. I think it's more that he opts for the easy option and will only make the next step when it's too frustrating to stay with the status quo. That's how it was for him walking and learning to eat, and I'm sure that's how it will be with his speech, toilet training and future milestones. Whilst he's happy, friendly and curious about the world, I couldn't care less.
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