Childcare

One of the biggest decisions that faced us as new parents was what to do as Kelsey approached the end of her maternity leave. For some people, the finances work out well enough for one or other parent to stay at home and provide permanent care for the baby, but as I'm on a trainee teacher salary, Kelsey had to go back to work so that we could afford childcare for Jake. It's been an interesting experience so far, and as I was walking with Jake today, I started to make a list of pros and cons of childcare from my perspective:

Pros
- there's a whole load of new people, both adults and children, and I think that it helps to socialise Jake. He definitely likes watching other children play and you can see this in the way that he sits and stares when we take him to the park.
- the staff are all trained professionals which makes it easier to leave him in the hands of people who are effectively strangers. They know how to look after him and the book that they keep records their interactions with him and how they're going to help him meet his next developmental goals. They're also all really friendly and seem knowledgeable about what they're doing and why.
- it allows us a certain amount of flexibility. For example, during the last school holidays, I was able to drop Jake off for a few hours allowing me to go hit the books at university for my course. Naturally, we'll be charged for the extra hours (sadly we don't get refunded on the days we collect him early!) but it's useful to have that option without having to call in baby sitting favours.

Cons
- even with a three quarters contract (meaning that I get Jake all to myself during the school holidays), the cost is still more than our current mortgage payments. Fortunately, with a combination of child benefit and tax free childcare vouchers from both of our jobs, the cost is reduced a little, but it's still a massive draw on our finances.
- communicating Jake's changing routines and likes between us and nursery can be difficult. We gave them an initial overview of when he ate, his nap times and his food preferences, but that was a couple of months ago and he changes on almost a daily basis. Only today we discovered that he's eating more formula at nursery than we thought which may explain why he's not been so keen on solid food at the weekend. Finding a way to keep both sides updated will be tough but essential to give him as much consistency as possible.
- food is another minor issue as we're struggling to get Jake off beige foods and have already started to pack our food with vegetables that he won't notice when we blitz it up for him to eat. Whilst we didn't specify that we didn't want him to eat things like chocolate at nursery (we didn't want to make a fuss), it's slightly frustrating to pick him up sometimes with a face full of chocolate.

On the whole, I think it's a great place for him to go. In the last week he's started letting a little gurgle of excitement out when he realises where he is and he's certainly learning a whole load of new tricks like bum shuffling and giving people objects which bring us endless entertainment. It's also a great feeling having other people tell you how happy and content your baby is, even if we're paying them a small fortune to keep him that way.

Ray Nears

A short entry today just to record Jake's ever increasing obsession with the outside world. Whilst we've not been able to co-ordinate diaries to continue the Leeds Country Way walk (though we're aiming to get back on the wagon next weekend...keep your eyes peeled on the blog!), Kelsey and I have been finding plenty of time to get Jake outside. The change of the clocks to give us back some light after work definitely helps as does the warmer weather, though we had some fun walks in the woods around our house during the snowy weather.

The most interesting thing that we've found is that contrary to what we were expecting, he is a big fan of the wind. I've always known that he doesn't mind have the wind in his face and he seems to grit his teeth towards in an odd sort of grimace. However, it wasn't until we went to visit some friends up in the Lake District and climbed up a decent sized hill that it became apparent that he actively enjoys that feeling. We went up while it was still relatively cold and we got to the summit around mid afternoon where there was a bracing cross wind. I immediately looked for a more sheltered spot when I was stopped by this kicking and gurgling from behind me. I stopped and was able to enjoy the views from the top with our friends whilst my little wind monster chatted throughout.

This trend has continued each and every time we go out. Softball season has started again, and it's my turn to sit on the sidelines whilst Kelsey plays. Jake obviously comes with us, and sits in the backpack watching the practice and making comments about people's batting (oh wait that's me). Last Wednesday saw the weather change in the day from being warm and sunny to grey and very windy. We play on one of the biggest parks in Leeds and the wind was whipping across the flat surface at what felt like gale force. I got some funny looks from our team as I loaded Jake into the backpack, but within a couple of minutes he was kicking and giggling away. The trick is to keep him bundled up and have a ready supply of biscuits in your pocket (I have now mastered the technique of reaching over my shoulder to pass food back) and he's as happy as can be.

I write this post more as a diary, as it will be interesting to see if Jake continues this love of being outside and of having the wind racing towards him. 

Heartache

Heartache. It happens every time I hear of children being hurt, abused or killed. It happened way before  we had Jake and the stories always tap into that part of me that is driven to work with young people to help them make a difference to the world around them. However, since we had Jake, the stories just strike that much harder. The news coming across from Boston of an 8 year old boy being killed in the explosions as he watched the marathon is still bringing a tear to my eye and making my heart break for his family. I don't know if being a father myself allows me more on a insight as to what  it could feel like to lose a child, or if it perhaps makes me think about how much it would hurt if Jake was to be taken from us in such a cruel fashion.

I have no idea what the bombers were trying to achieve, but I hope that somewhere in their consciousness they have even the slightest notion of the horror, heartache and pain that they are putting  unknown people through by killing innocent people, in particularly a child who has no part in any fight or cause.

Staying at home

Whilst I've never regretted deciding to do my teacher training year and have a baby at the same time, there are times when I think that I'd rather be doing one or the other. However, this last week has not been one of those times. In part it's because I'm on Easter break so the pressures on my time from work has been minimal and in part it's because Kelsey is at work so I've been playing at being a stay at home dad.

It's amazing how time can slowly dribble through your fingers when you're at home with a baby. Jake is roughly on an awake for 3 hours, asleep for 1 or 2 schedule, so you get used to living your life in short little blocks. By the time that you've looked out of the window, played with the blind, had a yoghurt and thrown some blocks on the floor, an hour has easily slipped by.

However, whilst it's tempting to spend the whole day gently pottering around the house, I like to Jake on adventures, such as a shopping trip, going for a run or meeting people for a coffee. This generally involves 10 minutes of screaming as I put him in his outdoor clothes, a promise that if it ever gets warm, I'll dress him in jeans and a t-shirt and then stuffing him into a pram or car seat. As soon as we start to move, and often as soon as we step outside, he's calm and gurgly, and puts on what I call his adventure face, where it looks like he's gritting his teeth (all 4 of them now!) into the wind.

It's a very peaceful time, and being able to spend his naptimes completely self-indulgently by reading, doing crosswords and writing is a rare luxury. Combined with spending time making him giggle, the thought of returning to next week doesn't seem like as much fun as before.