Development

Incredibly, Jake turned 10 months old on Friday. I say incredibly, it was always going to happen, but time seems to be going by faster and faster as the year goes by. I remember at the start marveling that he was a week old, then 10 days, whilst now it's easy for a month to go past now without any of those sorts of thoughts.

At the start of each month, we've always given him a "check-up" against the list in our What To Expect In The First Year book which outlines what your baby should, could and might be able to do. Jake has always been average, meeting milestones like being able to pick stuff up and sit up alone at roughly the expected age, but as the developments move towards gross motor movements like crawling, bum shuffling and standing, he seems to be taking no interest.

Admittedly, he has started to move himself in small movements on the kitchen floor if you put something out of his reach, and he is able to cope with tummy time for longer than before. However, he enjoys sitting and playing or eating and being carried around much more.

My internal struggle, as always, wavers between doing things that make him happy (giving him toys to play with, standing and looking out of the windows for cats) and creating opportunities for him to develop these gross motor skills. I think it's because I can't see how he'll learn to crawl if we don't put him on his stomach or learn to move himself around if we don't put things out of his reach and make him move himself to get there.

I desperately don't want to be a father who makes their child do things that will help their development that the child doesn't enjoy and I know that I was late meeting just about every developmental milestone as a baby and I have turned out ok. There's always that nagging voice, however, that says that I should be doing more to give Jake opportunities to learn new skills. As with all of these debates, I think there's a middle ground between the two to be found and that regardless, Jake will continue to develop in his own unique way.

In sickness and in health

Unsurprisingly, Jake's first week at daycare saw get struck down by a stomach bug. Speaking to other parents who have sent their kids to daycare, this seems to be a common theme as your child enters a maelstrom of germs and other children's illnesses with only a basic immune system to protect themselves.

Of course Jake has been ill before with a sniffle or a slight fever, but as my wife was at home, it was always manageable, even it meant a few days of him being more whiny and cuddly. However, now with us both back to work, the situation of Jake being ill changes everything.

Because it was a stomach bug, the daycare's policy (and indeed that of the whole education system) is that the child needs to be at home for 48 hours to clear the bug before they can come back. This is fine if one of you is at home or it's the weekend, but Jake managed to fall ill mid-week. Our aim has always been to make this an equal partnership so we each took a day off work to be with him.

It was a very surreal experience to be at home on a Thursday when it's not a holiday and I myself am not ill. I ran into all sorts of conflicts because on the one hand you want to be on call to look after Jake and on the other, my work ethic demanded that I try and make the most of the day. I eventually settled on working whilst Jake napped (which fortunately was a lot of the day) and making sure that I was with him at all times when he was awake. It turned into a pleasant day as even through being ill, he was still cheerful and easily pleased.

The big concern was being able to get enough fluids into him as he completely lost his appetite and isn't able to drink from a sippy cup yet (though not for want of trying!). It was strange to have to go back to feeding him a bottle of milk every time he got hungry and even then he still didn't eat a huge amount. Fortunately with his recovery has also come a return of appetite and he's back to stretching across the dining table to grab at whatever we're eating.

Watching your child go through an illness is tough because as an adult you know that it will pass, either with medicine or a few days of rest. For Jake, there's no such concept as time, just how he feels right now, and that feeling was pretty bad. Whilst it was nice having a baby who just wanted to cuddle and be held most of the time, I'm glad he's back to his usual self, playing with toys on the carpet and trying eat everything in sight.

A new pattern

Jake started his day care this week (more about which in my next post) and my wife returned to work. Our house is suddenly a very different place, from having company in the mornings (I definitely got used to having my own time before work!) to having to share Jake's bed time routine with Kelsey. Different doesn't mean worse and there's plenty of things that I like about our new routines.

Having Jake up in the morning has long been a part of my day to day life, but now my wife has to get up at the same sort of time as me. This means that we can share his care and playing with him as we get ready. I no longer have to shower before he wakes up or hope that he sleeps in so I can eat breakfast undisturbed. For Kelsey, this is a tough time as she's not the greatest at getting up in the morning, but she feels the need to be so she can see and play with Jake before she leaves for the day. We all bundle out of the house around 7 o'clock to our various places of work (Kelsey calls Jake's daycare school, I prefer to call it work so that he feels like part of the family).

In the evenings, Kelsey picks him up and every afternoon he is so excited to see her. I didn't quite realise the depth of the bond between them until I saw how excited he is around her in the evenings and the way that every time he sees her he reaches out for a cuddle. I managed to capture this devotion the other day:

Up until this week, I've managed to get out running with Jake a couple of nights a week to give Kelsey a break after having Jake all day. So far this week, I've not managed to get out once as I don't want to take away any time from her. I think that this will change as she gets used to being back at work and away from Jake for the whole day but for this week it seems like a sacrifice worth making. 

Kelsey has also joined Jake and I for his night time routine. Initially it felt strange to have someone else there (especially as I've taken to playing the guitar as he sits in the bath!) but it's actually a great way for Kelsey and I to connect, talk about our days and admire our baby together. We then take turns to feed him and read him a story and brush teeth (he is Kelsey's child after all!) and whilst I miss having just Jake and Daddy time, it's a lovely family feeling at the end of the day.